As I wondered into the bathroom today, getting hit with a wrecking ball of smell, I realized the bathroom would be a good blog topic.
Now I live by two rules, first, no white shoes after labor day and second, no acknowledgement of anyone in the bathroom. This means I will walk in the bath, tinkle, wash up and leave without knowing who else was in there even if I was right next to them at the sink.
I have replied to people in there without having a clue as to who it was. I have, I am sure, been rude to people who have looked at me in anticipation of a greeting that never materialized.
I really do not want to have a conversation with anyone while my winkie is getting some fresh air. I am not sure if this is weird but, I really do not care, I do not want to talk to you.
For the most part people in offices usually wash their hands and thank god for that. The only person I have noticed do this at my current employer is one of the top five people in the company. I highly educated professional who fails to do the most basic of human cleansing and he does not do it in front of other people. You can rest assured I lost a lot of respect that day.
One of the other things I have noticed is if I go in to tinkle and there is someone in the stall all motion or actions in that stall come to a complete stop. Now, back in the old days I would simply walk out, and sometimes I still do, but in a company when the bathroom is usually busy, I can not be going back and forth. So, I press on, hold my nose, get in, get out and let the person who is holding it in continues their meeting.
It would be awkward to see the person coming out of the stall while I am still there, I would imagine the whole dynamic of the relationship would change.
The first time I saw a bottle of Frebreeze in the bathroom I thought it was a brilliant idea.
I pee a lot, I do. I do not have diabetes or anything, it is genetic. My dad pees like it is going out of style and I inherited his bladder. Sometimes I will see the same person in the bathroom three times in the early afternoon. It is almost like seeing your ex after a disastrous breakup on that third meeting.
Happy tinkling!!!
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1 comment:
the other day at school i had to #2 in a big way. i told myself on the way to the can that whoever was in there and whoever saw me, it did not matter. i was going to blow it up just like i was home alone.
i was only moderately successful. there was someone in the stall next to me and someone at the sink. i'm sure they still heard some things, but i absolutely could not stop myself from trying to make no sound at all.
why is this? i understand not wanting to talk to people in the bathroom, i feel the same way. but why, when in the stall, do we find ourselves overcome with an intense fear that we will be discovered by smell or sound?
is it some sort of fight or flight prey/predator response? is it in our genes? or is it some deeply ingrained social requirement?
hell, some people never even feel comfortable using the bathroom around their spouse. well, i'm going to keep trying to buck the system. not because i want to offend people, but because i realize that my hangups over making flatulent noises in an anonymous stall in a a public restroom are kind of silly.
if it was me at the sink and i heard something, i would just chuckle and go about the rest of my day. but there are people like nancy out there...
nice blog, btw. glad i found it. hope this wasnt tmi...
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