CC

Since when has copying half of the western hemisphere on e-mails become acceptable business etiquette?

If there is one thing, well several things that annoy me, copying other people on an e-mail directed towards me is it.

For instance:

To: Accountant

CC: Your boss

From: Helga

Subject: Discount Rate

Could you please change the discount rate for customer XX?

Thank you,

Look, Helga, if I do not do as you request on the first try, feel free to copy my boss but, until I screw up, ask me like I am a professional, not a baby.

Then you get these back and forth emails that could be handled between two people but since the e-mails started out copying 398209820938 people the two people talking keep "replying to all".

Cut it out, I do not care, handle your stuff and keep me out of it.

If that happens to me and I am one of the two people actually involved in the discussion I will not reply to all but, all of a sudden on the reply, everyone is copied again.

I like to develop relationships with people, I like to be able to trust people. I like to be able to understand that if someone makes a mistake it is okay and they can correct it without involving their boss.

I deal with several people and I catch mistakes. I e-mail them, copying: no one, and have them fix the problem. That's how things should work. I know people appreciate that and I appreciate that when I make a mistake.

For the love of god stop copying!!!

That means you, Helga.

Lunch

Why does lunch bring out the inner busy body in each and every one of us. Well okay, by us I mean women.

Every day one of my co-workers, Fern, will go up the hallway and ask everyone what they are doing for lunch. Well everyone but me since she might sense I might break out a shank if she asks me.

"Are you going out?"

"Did you bring?"

Every day, without fail.

Now, I am the only male except for one of the executives in my part of the floor and I really do not want to make this a male vs. female issue but, it can not be ignored.

It is like a sewing circle, everybody has to know what the other person is doing.

Nancy will ask me all the time what I do for lunch and what I bring. I, just to be a stinker, will not tell her. Since I do not heat up anything in the microwave she has narrowed it down to sandwiches but, she always guesses tuna or turkey like those are the only two options.

For a while she would wonder where I went but somehow she found out I used to go nap in my car. That's right, she went and found out. I could not believe it, either.

I am convinced she is going to go in the frig one day and open up everyone's lunch to see what I bring. She is going to be totally let down with PB&J on wheat.

Would a dude even remotely care? The one time a guy got curious about my lunch activities was about thirteen years ago and it was in a bathroom at work. Needless to say I did not tell him what I did, either.

Well I guess it is okay that everyone is social and that everyone is friendly and wants to hang out during lunch. At least when they go out they do not take two hours. Oh, wait...

That is a whole other entry.

Birthday Lunches

This issue came up today. As I sat there listening two things popped into my head:

1. This will postpone my original subject I would be blogging about.

2. Where do I begin and how do I articulate what a mess this is.

I guess I am going to start at the beginning and plow through.

My department has this tradition of taking people out to lunch on their birthday. It is a fine tradition except that it has become a Rocky V size debacle.

From when I started last year up until my birthday everyone was taken out and no problems occured.

Then my birthday happened. We were going to go one Monday during the following week but, the head lunch hen, Nancy, was not going to be in the office and there was no way in Detroit it was going to happen if she was not there.

Well, the rest of the week was out due to other issues with other people including myself. Well ok, to be honest I did not care much and it did not happen. I still continue to sleep soundly at night.

Well, Cheryl had her birthday a couple of weeks ago and still no lunch. One day as she was walking by I said:

"When are we going out for your lunch, how come we haven't gone yet?"

"If it was Nancy's birthday we would have gone last week."

"I guess you are not high on the pecking order."

I was just having a touch of fun but, this did open up a can of worms that I did not realize existed but was delighted to find out about.

Cheryl agreed with me whole hearted and I am not quite sure she knew I was joking.

So today, as far as I knew lunch was scheduled for this Friday but, it was canceled since Cheryl was not going to be in the office. Not a big deal since it was her who was not going to be around.

Not a big deal until I heard this exchange between Cheryl and Marcela:

C: Only certain people she (Nancy) sweats the lunches with.

M: (silence)

C: It's ok, I do not care.

M: mumbling...

C: I appreciate it but it's ok

Good lord, such drama over a celebration.

I have a plan to save the birthday lunch and plan to implement it. Here goes:

1. Have one lunch a month for anyone who's birthday falls in that month.

2. Announce the date at the beginning of the month so everyone will have ample time to find excuses not to go.

3. If someone is going to be out of the office on that date, oh well.

There, that is it. Simple. Everybody wins.

Happy Birthday!!!

The Lunch Room

And you thought the bathroom was bad...

The smells that emanate from this foul room...

There are two smells that I associate with the lunch room: fish and broccoli.

Why someone would bring leftover fish and heat it up in the microwave in front of ten other people is beyond me.

I bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. I run in the lunch room, get my lunch and run out without breathing. It should be an Olympic event.

I drink water all day so I keep one bottle at my desk and one bottle in the freezer. Well, for a while the water was tasting awful, I mean, just awful. I got new bottles, I changed the source were I got the water from. Nothing.

One day, they cleaned out the refrigerator, the next day, amazingly enough, the water tasted just fine. What does that mean? Well, it means that the old, nasty stuff in the frig was causing the air that was circulating in the freezer to marinate my water with it's vile odors.

Grown people, people with jobs that require responsibility are in the end, pigs.

I do not leave Lean Cuisine in the freezer for six months or that carton of blueberry yogurt sitting there for the duration of the presidential primaries. I leave my stuff there in the morning and it's gone by noon.

The good thing is that the company is having the cleaning dude clear out the frig every night now. If you leave something in there it is gone in the morning. Thank god and Joe Pesci for small miracles.

Now only if they would get rid of the microwave...

Bon appetit!!!

The Bathroom

As I wondered into the bathroom today, getting hit with a wrecking ball of smell, I realized the bathroom would be a good blog topic.

Now I live by two rules, first, no white shoes after labor day and second, no acknowledgement of anyone in the bathroom. This means I will walk in the bath, tinkle, wash up and leave without knowing who else was in there even if I was right next to them at the sink.

I have replied to people in there without having a clue as to who it was. I have, I am sure, been rude to people who have looked at me in anticipation of a greeting that never materialized.

I really do not want to have a conversation with anyone while my winkie is getting some fresh air. I am not sure if this is weird but, I really do not care, I do not want to talk to you.

For the most part people in offices usually wash their hands and thank god for that. The only person I have noticed do this at my current employer is one of the top five people in the company. I highly educated professional who fails to do the most basic of human cleansing and he does not do it in front of other people. You can rest assured I lost a lot of respect that day.

One of the other things I have noticed is if I go in to tinkle and there is someone in the stall all motion or actions in that stall come to a complete stop. Now, back in the old days I would simply walk out, and sometimes I still do, but in a company when the bathroom is usually busy, I can not be going back and forth. So, I press on, hold my nose, get in, get out and let the person who is holding it in continues their meeting.

It would be awkward to see the person coming out of the stall while I am still there, I would imagine the whole dynamic of the relationship would change.

The first time I saw a bottle of Frebreeze in the bathroom I thought it was a brilliant idea.

I pee a lot, I do. I do not have diabetes or anything, it is genetic. My dad pees like it is going out of style and I inherited his bladder. Sometimes I will see the same person in the bathroom three times in the early afternoon. It is almost like seeing your ex after a disastrous breakup on that third meeting.

Happy tinkling!!!

White Collar Cliches (Part II)

I remembered the 5th Cliche most commonly heard from the white collar hipsters:

5. "My question is..."

Like you are sitting there in a conference call, or in my case, overhearing this. Three people are talking and Helga, the VP of sales for one of the divisions goes "My question is...". The other two keep talking but, in a showing of pure ego, the VP goes "My question is..."

I just picture everyone else getting up in the morning and going "Gosh, I wonder what Helga's question is going to be today". Then, when she finally decides to share it, everyone stops, puts their head on their fists in anticipation and awaits that burning question.

So to recap, here are the top 5 white collar chiches:

1 ."The latest and greatest"

2. "Shoot me an e-mail."

3. "Vaca" short for vacation

4. "At the end of the day"

5. "My question is..."

White Collar Cliches

I figured my first real post about the accounting lifestyle should be about my #1 pet peeve...white collar cliches.

What are white collar cliches? Well, they are words or phrases you might find yourself hearing in a corporate work place.

Here are the five that I hate the most. Also, the only five I can think of:

1 ."The latest and greatest" (Hi, accountant, have you updated that spreadsheet...ok...great...if you can just shoot me over the latest and greatest version), This leads me to...

2. "Shoot me an e-mail."

3. "Vaca" (hey welcome back, how was your vaca?) Pronounced (Vay-Kay)

And, the one that makes my skin crawl...

4. "At the end of the day"

I once was sitting with some dude in his office and I swear he said "at the end of the day" twenty times in a three minute stretch.

For the love of god, stop, just stop using that expression

So did you notice I only listed four? Well, so did I...I forgot the other one...I will update it as soon as I remember.

Now, I have never met anyone who I have heard use all four, if I ever do, I am sure you will read about me in the crime blotter. Something about a shank and hysterical behavior.

Purpose

Well, I am sure a lot of people wonder what it is like to work for a large corporation in the accounting department. I am going to put those questions to rest with real, true life stories directly from the front lines of Corporate America.

Sure you might not get the exciting stories the bloggers from the service industry have for us and well it's kind of obvious that I will not be complaining about poor tips and obnoxious patrons. But, if you want to hear the ramblings of someone who hates all trends, unless I like them and from someone who gets annoyed by people (in a fun way) then stay tuned.

A little about what I do and my company:

I am a mid level accountant who's official title is "Senior Account".

I work for a fairly large, publicly traded company in the service/vacation industry.

I like my job, i like the company I work for so this is not going to be a bash work journal. This will be more of an observational place.

I have worked for smaller and suckier companies and I will be drawing lots of stories and comparisons from them.

Enjoy!!!